Tango 'judges'

Sometimes at a milonga there are some bad vibes - and I am not the only one to notice them I discovered recently. A friend remarked to me that she didn't usually come to a particular milonga because she felt it had bad vibes.
The other night I was at a milonga where the vibes were not good. Was it because one couple was clearly sitting on the edge of the dance floor and making remarks to each other about the dancers on the floor? or was it because two couples were doing it - one sitting further away? One is enough I think.
I dance tango because I love the music, I love the dance and enjoy the company of my tango friends. I don't pretend that my standard is anything other than average intermediate. I don't have time to devote to technique to raise myself to another level - and I know enough about to dance to know that I probably need to learn other forms of dance and do regular pilates in order to really know my body better. It makes me uncomfortable when I see this happening - and I am sure it affects others.
If these people who were sitting in judgement had passed an exam or earned credentials that made them tango 'professors' then maybe it would have felt more acceptable - but it would still have created bad vibes.

Comments

Pantina said…
You have judges on your side of the world too! There's a couple at a local milonga that perch themselves at the same table week after week and you can feel them critiquing your dancing as you go by.

so annoying..... and petty.

I love the dance but sometimes the attitudes can be a bit too much to take.
Arlene said…
I have to say that I may be guilty of remarking on the way people are dancing, in order to show other women what to look for in a good lead. If I am asked what I think of a particular lead, I will say what I think. It isn't a personal remark about the person, it is only the way they lead and deal with the music. It is important for a woman to know what to look for in order to have a pleasant dance. There are many men that I am friendly with, but I do not dance with them. They don't ask me or I don't encourage it. I will dance with some of them if asked. They are friends. I have worked hard and spent a lot of money over the years to develop my dance. I am not the best dancer, but I can dance. I don't go to the milongas much and when I do, I want to enjoy myself.
I tend to focus on myself and what I want for my evening rather than on what other people are doing or saying. Obviously, some people care too much about what others think of them. I don't. People can say what they like about me and my dancing. I could care less.
If more people focused on themselves rather than on others, then maybe they wouldn't worry about cliques or what others thought too much.
If the organisers are not welcoming, then don't go to their milongas.
People need to take some responsibility for their leisure time rather than whinging about things.
Kenx1000 said…
Ha! Somewhere in my tango career I learned that it was bad manners to stare or point at dancers on the floor. Dancers are aware not only of who else is on the floor but who is sitting out. Obviously there is much to be learned from watching other dancers. So it is best to watch unobtrusively. And if necessary to discuss (say with a beginner) a good point of tango style, identify the dancer by some distinctive item of clothing, and make your comment (positive, always, or shut up) very quietly.

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