Manners, respect and tango

My parents taught me, and I taught my children, not to interrupt conversations but to wait politely to be included. These days with mobile phones this just doesn't happen. If the phone rings it is generally answered mid-conversation - and often that conversation takes off. I find that offensive and I don't answer my phone in this situation but call the caller back asap. As I am no longer of the corporate world I don't know if this happens there, but I find it offensive if I am talking to someone at a milonga, just the two of us, and someone walks up, says hello to the person I am talking to, and sometimes to me (though not always) then asks that person to dance - and they both walk away. I find it particularly offensive if I am talking to a man - I could be hoping that he will ask me to dance (not always but sometimes I am) or I could be having a meaningful conversation. Are these women so afraid they won't get a dance with this man that they have to spirit him away at that moment? Are the men so 'flattered' that they must dance? Or am I simply being overly-sensitive?

Comments

Infinite Tango said…
Not just you, Angelina - it annoys me too. :-/
Friday, January 4, 2013 at 9:05:00 AM GMT+11
Anonymous said…
Well ... unfortunately most people don't have a little light on their head that flashes green to say "I'm here to dance, and the music's great, and I'm just chatting with my friend to pass the time, but I really love to have a dance, so if you want to invite me, go right ahead" or flashes red to say "Look, I'm here at a milonga and wearing my shoes and stuff, and the music's great, but I'd really rather have this conversation, so if you don't mind, don't interrupt us please"

I wish :-/
Friday, January 4, 2013 at 10:47:00 PM GMT+11
Angelina said…
What a strange comment - why would someone with good manners need to read lights on people's heads???
I am talking about an understanding of the polite and rude ways to interrupt a conversation, and an understanding of body language.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 2:42:00 PM GMT+11
AlanJonesj said…
I thought that part of the codes were that you don't invite a woman to dance when she is eating or talking,because she is,err,eating or drinking and not interested in dancing at that time...Don't the women actively look around the milonga when they wish to dance? Oh,we have rude people here in England,too.From Alan Jones.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 12:47:00 AM GMT+11
Patricia said…
The cabeceo is an elegant solution to this problem. The body language involved makes it very clear who is interested in dancing at any one time, and whether they would be interested in dancing with you.
A tried and true solution. Simple!
Friday, January 11, 2013 at 12:45:00 PM GMT+11
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