Manners, respect and tango

My parents taught me, and I taught my children, not to interrupt conversations but to wait politely to be included. These days with mobile phones this just doesn't happen. If the phone rings it is generally answered mid-conversation - and often that conversation takes off. I find that offensive and I don't answer my phone in this situation but call the caller back asap. As I am no longer of the corporate world I don't know if this happens there, but I find it offensive if I am talking to someone at a milonga, just the two of us, and someone walks up, says hello to the person I am talking to, and sometimes to me (though not always) then asks that person to dance - and they both walk away. I find it particularly offensive if I am talking to a man - I could be hoping that he will ask me to dance (not always but sometimes I am) or I could be having a meaningful conversation. Are these women so afraid they won't get a dance with this man that they have to spirit him away at that moment? Are the men so 'flattered' that they must dance? Or am I simply being overly-sensitive?

Comments

Infinite Tango said…
Not just you, Angelina - it annoys me too. :-/
Friday, January 4, 2013 at 9:05:00 AM GMT+11
Anonymous said…
Well ... unfortunately most people don't have a little light on their head that flashes green to say "I'm here to dance, and the music's great, and I'm just chatting with my friend to pass the time, but I really love to have a dance, so if you want to invite me, go right ahead" or flashes red to say "Look, I'm here at a milonga and wearing my shoes and stuff, and the music's great, but I'd really rather have this conversation, so if you don't mind, don't interrupt us please"

I wish :-/
Friday, January 4, 2013 at 10:47:00 PM GMT+11
Angelina said…
What a strange comment - why would someone with good manners need to read lights on people's heads???
I am talking about an understanding of the polite and rude ways to interrupt a conversation, and an understanding of body language.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 2:42:00 PM GMT+11
AlanJonesj said…
I thought that part of the codes were that you don't invite a woman to dance when she is eating or talking,because she is,err,eating or drinking and not interested in dancing at that time...Don't the women actively look around the milonga when they wish to dance? Oh,we have rude people here in England,too.From Alan Jones.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 12:47:00 AM GMT+11
Patricia said…
The cabeceo is an elegant solution to this problem. The body language involved makes it very clear who is interested in dancing at any one time, and whether they would be interested in dancing with you.
A tried and true solution. Simple!
Friday, January 11, 2013 at 12:45:00 PM GMT+11
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

There's a big change afoot in Sydney Tango

Image
Many years ago a clever IT person thought up the Sydneytango calendar, a place where people could find classes, milongas, special events and a forum to talk about issues. This was before Facebook and it became the goto for most Sydney tango dancers, and the place where out of towners could find out what was happening on the scene in the Sydney metropolitan area.

This calendar has been kept up to date assiduously until now - almost single-handedly by one dedicated tanguera, Sima Oertli. Sima has dedicated herself to keeping dancers informed about tango in Sydney and to organising and presenting events from Festivals to workshops with some of the world's very best tango dancers.
She has presented milongas on a regular basis featuring live tango music, the only organiser who does so on a regular basis in the Sydney metropolitan area. In so doing she has introduced tango
dancers to world class musicians both locally and internationally and enriched the tango scene.
I would personall…
Read more

Milonguero of style: Horacio Julian Prestamo

Image
This year's Milongueando in Buenos Aires in August is the 9th. An encuentro (meeting) rather than a Festival in the sense of great maestros and exotic performances. The organisers Susanna Miller and Maria Plazaola state on their website that "Everyone can dance milonguero-style tango. ...we teach students to enjoy the natural movement of the body and the dialogue that takes place in harmony with one's partner".
One of the teachers at this year's festival is Horacio Julian Prestamo. For those who love the milonguero-style of tango here is a fascinating interview - and a dance performance.
Read more

Vale Julio Balmaceda

Image
The tango world is shocked by the recent death on November 16 of popular maestro Julio Balmaceda at the very young age of 54.

Many Australian dancers will remember Julio's visits in 2013 for the Sydney Tango Festival with Corina de la Rosa and in 2015 for the Essence and Evolution Festival with Virginia Vasconi. Others will remember him as one of their teachers in Buenos Aires - for many he was a friend as much as an amazing dancer.

 Julio was taught to tango by his father, the legendery Miguel Balmaceda, and for many years he accompanied and assisted him in tango practices. After his father’s death in 1991, Julio took over the classes attango schools in Buenos Aires: Canning, Grisel, El Parakultural, Almagro, and La galleria del tango.

Julio was known internationally and at home for his naturalness, quality and musicality that made his dance and his walk synonymous with tango.

 Some of the highlights of his career are - performing in the 1998 Broadway production of 'Foreve…
Read more